The Dewdrop Digest

The Dewdrop Digest
Connecting Children, Youth and Sangha
Clouds in Water Zen Center
Sunday, January 18, 2004

Good morning, mindful parents and all of you who are striving to live with awareness and authenticity! Spending time in a community of practice is a great gift. Thank you all for creating this community by showing up!

WINTER QUARTER TEACHING MESSAGE
Last session's Dewdrop summarized - and unpacked the relationships between - our main teaching areas this quarter: Four Noble Truths, Wholesome Behavior, Right Speech and Peacemaking. Please contact me (Katharine) if you would like a copy of its accompanying article on Nonviolent Communication.

Recap: This quarter we focus on Wholesome Behavior, emphasizing "Heart-to-Heart Speech and Listening" (a.k.a., Right Speech). Teachers, parents, and students are invited to practice Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a way of restoring the natural flow of compassion within and between ourselves.

MAKING PEACE AND CONNECTING WITH RIGHT SPEECH
· The Buddha divides Right Speech into four components: abstaining from false speech, abstaining from slanderous speech, abstaining from harsh speech, and abstaining from idle chatter.
· Our focus for "Heart-to-Heart Speech and Listening":
1. A foundation of mindfulness: awareness of self and others
2. Loving Speech: Speaking words that are true, kind and helpful. This would include expressing (disclosing) what is true for us, taking responsibility for our feelings and needs (rather than blaming).
3. Deep Listening: Listening with awareness, openness and empathy

HEART-TO-HEART SPEECH FOR YOUNG CHILDREN
Our view is that an intellectual approach is counterproductive to teaching young children (K and under) any aspect of Wholesome Behavior. First of all, it is not effective, since young children learn best in other ways. Second, cognitive stimulation that labels feelings and behaviors - and separates children from their experience - disturbs is actually unhealthy for them since their consciousness is largely undifferentiated. What is effective?
· Modeling with heart and authenticity. Young children learn by imitating those around them. The "heart and authenticity" part is important because the emotional content of the message is the key (to all ages).
· Story-telling and play-acting. Young children learn through their imagination. Tell them stories where the characters speak and act kindly toward one another. Occasionally join make-believe play in ways that model kindness.

MODELING FOR ALL AGES
In all of our classes, from this quarter forward, we are consciously striving to:
· create an atmosphere where the expression of feelings, wants, needs and values is encouraged
· guess the feelings and needs of our students (see article on NVC for more info on this)
Please do this at home as well.

HOME PRACTICE (adapted from Lucy Leu's "Nonviolent Communication Workbook)
For the last two weeks, the home practice has been centered on giving from the heart. We aimed to develop the intention each morning to give from the heart. Each evening, we met as a family to remember the times that we gave from the heart. We recalled how we felt when giving from the heart. We also noticed times when we gave from some place other than the heart. What did that feel like? What would you have like to have happened on that occasion?

We like to live out our lives as compassionate and generous people, and it can be painful to notice those times when our hearts are closed. Yet it's by noticing, over and over - without judging - these "tight" times that we grow our compassion and generosity. Watch for these moments with a loving eye.

If giving from the heart is one of the greatest joys we can experience, and is the foundation of Wholesome Behavior, let's keep working on it. Start your home practice this week by identifying three things you learned from the theme of Giving from the Heart. During this two-week period, when you find yourself in a "tight" moment, where you are not giving from the heart, try to identify, "What need in that moment prevented me from doing so?"

With your children, shine the light of awareness on giving from the heart by noticing out loud when you or they are giving from an open heart. And when you're not. For instance, yesterday I did a lot of nice things for people, but I was unfortunately too tense and outwardly-focused to be really connected to my heart. I talked about this briefly with my family afterwards and I may strategize some ways - e.g., taking some time to breathe - to be more open next time.

SONG
Oh what a glad and glorious feeling, glorious feeling
When the bells of peace are pealing, peace are pealing
Peace on earth, Peace on earth.

Question, suggestion, problem? Contact Children's and Youth Practice Coordinator Katharine Krueger at 651.222.6969 x10 or at cp@cloudsinwater.org.





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