Building the Foundations for Peace
I hope you are being extra kind and compassionate to yourself. We are all living in a difficult time and I feel more than ever that practicing loving and kindness (Metta) towards ourselves is important right now. Before the year 2025 started with chaos or before we started to fear for the safety and well-being of our communities, we each probably have had existing personal challenges in our lives. Or, we may be encountering new personal challenges during these collective challenges. We are all carrying more in our hearts than we normally do.
How can we take care of ourselves in such a time? The answer I find most helpful is to show up with kindness to yourself.
For me, I sense these extra difficulties through my behaviors and choices. My chronic illness makes me slow, but I am moving extra slow in recent months. I make decisions slowly and I cook slowly, affecting everyone in my family. First I didn’t know what happened to my brain and body. I asked myself, “what is going on?” My body responded to me, “hey, you are carrying a lot”. Two sets of challenges, personal and collective. That’s why, like many of you, I am navigating both with a lot of care and prayers. It is OK to be slow. It just shows that I’m trying my best. Thank you, and “me”, for caring for your families and communities. You have a great heart. Those are the healing words we can sincerely give to ourselves.
I am also making different choices, “lazier” ones than normal. For example, I have a few kinds of videos to watch and books to read for my personal learning and growth. But, instead of watching or reading them, I am watching a relaxing TV show whenever I don’t feel the capacity to learn new things. When I find myself taking “lazier options” like this, I sometimes wonder to myself, “Am I doing my best?”
This question is a dividing point. I can choose to judge myself as not trying enough. Or, I can see this as an opportunity to look at myself with kindness and compassion to understand myself better.
I put my whole heart into choosing the latter, thanks to the support from the practice community at the Clouds. I am getting better at it. Yet, I still have to do so a million times a day. And I guess that is OK. As long as I choose to be kind to myself and try to understand myself, it’s ok to have to do so as many times as needed.
Because to be kind and compassionate to myself is to understand my true self and the true reason behind my actions. Only then, we can truly appreciate ourselves and all others who support us. For example, when I understand why I made the choice to relax and watch a TV show, I feel grateful for the time I spent relaxing. I feel grateful for everything that made it possible. This gratitude and joy help me heal and move on. If I criticize myself instead, I need to deal with my criticism and my stress becomes higher. I may end up watching TV more. That can cause a vicious circle. We are already Bodhisattvas who want to do good. We need to be able to see that.
The more I practice Zen, the answer I reach is simply this. All I need is to be kind and compassionate to myself. Then, my kindness and compassion naturally shine to people around me. When I take care of myself with compassion, I can do the same for others. Yes, it is not easy. But, each small action matters. When we think of building peace for the world, we need to remember that our small efforts of kindness and compassion in our daily lives build the foundations for it.
By Rev. Shōzoku Nomura
