In Gladness and in Safety: Zen Practice in the Aftermath of Operation Metro Surge

Many of us in the Twin Cities Metro area are experiencing trauma from Operation Metro Surge. Even if this Surge is winding down (and it's an open question about whether that's actually true), there is much harm that has been done and it will be a long road to recovery.

It's my sincere wish that we will continue to support one another and support our communities. Yes, we can and should rest to sustain this for the long term, but let's not lose our connections and commitment to supporting those who have been and continue to be harmed.

This includes taking care of ourselves. Many of us are experiencing strong feelings, such as grief, rage, fear, and confusion. We also may be feeling overwhelmed, over-extended and/or hopeless. It's important to find ways to safely express and process these feelings, while being seen and held by our communities of family, friends, therapists, support groups and sangha.

The healing process begins with getting in touch with our deepest feelings. Touching grief, rage or confusion is not how most of us want to spend our time! Our usual mode, especially when in trauma, is to try to figure out what is the "right" thing to do, so that we can feel better. Our underlying goal is feeling better, not being present with ourselves and all beings. That is a very human way to behave - so we should be kind to ourselves for behaving like this. And, we can remember that we have the gift of our Zen practice, which encourages us to notice what is arising, and be available for our lives (and feelings) just as they are. When we are present in this way, we have the chance of being settled in our bodies. We have the chance to access a deep wisdom that helps us to see the best thing to do, not just to make ourselves feel better on the surface, but something that will enable us to do the most appropriate and helpful things. This will make us feel good deep down, and help us to experience feelings of gladness and safety.

It is human to wish for gladness, safety and well-being for ourselves. Loving-kindness practice suggests that we begin with these wishes for ourselves (and/or for those near and dear to us), and then, once we create this base, we can extend love to the whole world - even to those who cause harm. But if anger is arising towards those who cause harm, we need to take care of that first. We need to realize the truth of our own suffering and not ignore it. 

I’d like to share some things that Katagiri Roshi, the founding teacher of our lineage, said about suffering:

Suffering is not merely suffering as opposed to pleasure. Suffering is a holy truth; this means that it is one aspect of human life from which no one can escape. It is completely beyond what one likes or dislikes. You have to face it directly because your life is right in the midst of suffering. You cannot ignore it. If you ignore it, it becomes monstrous.

When you ignore your own suffering, you can do much damage to yourself. When you get sick and don’t take care of yourself, or when you keep pushing yourself beyond your physical, mental, or psychological capacity, that is monstrous. It is not treating your own self as human. 

So, before you extend loving-kindness to your enemies, before you jump up to solve the problems of the world, I invite you to take some time to support your own gladness, safety and well-being. Take time to be with the truth of your life, just as it is.

Please know that Clouds in Water is here to support you in your practice. The teachers are available for one-to-one meetings, and we continue to offer classes, retreats, weekly Sunday talks, and weekday meditations. We are also now offering tea and conversation after Wednesday evening zazen. Special offerings coming up are Grief, Rage, and Healing Circles where you can touch difficult feelings in a spiritually supportive environment. These will be Sundays, March 1 and 15, 11 am - 12:30 pm, in-person only.

By Guiding Teacher Rev. Sosan Theresa Flynn